In which the young man runs away to find himself...

Miriam McGruder

45 Long Farm Lane

Smalltown
East West Countryshire

 

  

My dear Miriam,

       In my last letter I was a confused fool. I may still be a fool but I like to think that I am no longer confused. My feelings for you, while they are as strong as reinforced steel, have changed. I miss you, but as one might miss the sun after a month of night. You represent home to me. You are comfort and you are complacency. I know now that I must run out into the world if I am to find my destiny. I know I must not be afraid to abandon comfort in order to know my true self.

I have discovered something about myself that is considered a scandal in polite society. So I have decided to follow the sun and take myself off someplace that I will not bring shame upon you and our families.

I want to thank you for your unwavering loyalty. I think you already knew in your heart that I was not as committed as you. I hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me and my fickle ways.   

I found in myself a strength I did not know I had the day that I decided to follow my heart. Captain Richmond caught me in a lie when I told him that I was not staring. He seemed disgusted by my attention. My dear Miriam, the stars fell from my eyes and I could finally see him for the man he was.  A big, vulgar brute of a man. A very beautiful brute, but a brute nonetheless.

I made up my mind in that instant. I was not cut out for life in the army. I snuck out under the cover of night. I crept past the sentries; I dared not breathe until I had made it to the road to Margumtown.

It was not until I had been walking for two straight days that I stopped hiding from every person that passed by. I am ashamed to say that I stole clothes, drying in the sun, from the yard of a quaint little farmstead. I did not look like a soldier. I looked like a scruffy man in need of a good meal. I foraged in the woods for berries, Miriam, I have never done that. I have never looked at the world as I have these last few days. It is like I have been born anew and the last vestiges of my old life are falling away and I have gained a greater appreciation for the land around me. Oh Miriam, if you could only see through my eyes, the wonders. I watched a kingfisher hunt for its lunch. I saw the sun rise above the horizon like it was the first time.  

As I wander across this new landscape I am struck anew by its beauty. The people are friendly to an unkempt young man wandering on to their lands, asking for work.

Maybe, one day, I will be at peace enough to settle down and become one of those helpful farmers.

My dear, I know that I must seem a right bedlamite, extolling the virtues of a place that you have never seen and will most likely never visit. I just hope you not bear me any ill will if I write to you again.

 

Forever yours in friendship,

Teddy