Arthur
Pendleton
Farmer Jack
Whitingale has, today, stated his intention to cut his extensive
family out of his Will and leave his entire fortune and holdings to
his favourite cow, Bessie. To whom he got married six months ago.
This comes as
no shock to many people of the shire of Muggleton as Mr Whitingale’s
family has been linked to several scandals in the area. Lawyers for
the troubled farmer have refused to either confirm or deny the rumour
that Mr Whitingale has given his family one week to give him a reason
why his beloved Bessie should not receive the entirety of his wealth.
It has been
speculated that this ultimatum comes too little too late, for the
many members of the Whitingale family who have been embroiled in
various scandals over the years. Mr Whitingale’s ex-wife, for
example, is well known for her alleged flings with the coach of the
high school football team and several members of visiting players.
The Muggleton
Herald has been promised an exclusive interview with various members
of the Whitingale family affected by Farmer Jack’s revelations.
Break In At
Wolverton Ranch
Margaret
White
Police have
been called to the scene of a break in at the Wolverton Ranch in
South-East Muggleton this morning. Mr and Mrs Wolverton returned home
this morning after coming back from the Southwest Society’s
Regional Charleston Championship. The thefts include several of Mrs
Wolverton’s dresses, a set of His and Hers Shaving Mugs and the
trophy the couple won at last year’s Darts Tournament. The police
believe the break in to be the work of roving transvestites.
On a lighter
note, the Wolverton’s placed second in the Charleston Championship.
Raspberry
Given to Mrs Jones Once Again
Linden
Clay-Potts
In this last
week the Muggleton Shire has seen an influx of jam and preserves
lovers as the Country Women’s Annual Preserve Competition got under
way on Monday. The traditionally insular society has, this year,
thrown open the competition to all comers and the response has been
remarkable. Ladies from as far as Yallington have come to contend for
the prestige and titles winning either categories or overall titles
can bring. Mrs Jones, our local legend and a very strong contender,
has already taken out three trophies for Best Fig Preserve, Largest
Raspberry Jam and Most Original Tart. Her tart was her now famous
Quince Jelly and Zucchini Tart. The newcomers are making a good
showing of themselves as well, with many of them taking out prizes
for their creations.
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