It's a hard knock life

Men sure do have it tough when it comes to life.

Everything starts off all hunky dory, peaches and cream and all that nonsense. Childhood is simple and then you grow up to be a man.
It is when you become men that life becomes interesting.


To be a real man you must be strong and physical. Do well at sports.

Join the army. Fight yellow reds. And any other colour of the rainbow.

Beware of Sex Perversion, though. It might very well ruin your life. 

Remember that EVERYTHING is dangerous. And all animals will want to attack you and kill you. Perhaps to eat you. Or the women with you, who will need saving from almost certain doom, as they scream in revealing outfits.

These sharks are no match for my pistol skills!

Strength will help you to face these dangers with style and aplomb.

If uncertain, your mother will be able to help you find a plomb. 

* * * * *

Women are very beautiful creatures. But, as beautiful as these creatures are, they are also extremely dangerous. Never go to the darkest reaches of the jungle and expect a warm welcome. Unless your preferred welcome is an orgy of death. 

Sexed to Death!!

Or perhaps a form of cannibalism after the obligatory sexual relations with many nubile young natives.

Om Nom Nom Nom

Even on holiday, you are not safe! Women will wear revealing clothing to distract you and take you prisoner! Guard your manly virtue!!

If there are slaves, they will ALWAYS revolt and take you hostage. And once again your manly virtue is in danger of ravishment!

* * * * *

Nazis are EVERYWHERE and must be defeated at all costs. Women are in constant peril and thus men must be extra manly and virile to protect the lovely maidens of virtue.

There are lovely ladies in danger! Save them! Save them with your muscles!

Though there is the rare occasion that the women help with the defeat of the Nazi menace. 

And sometimes the bait becomes the enemy! Their cunning disguises as harmless local militia are taken away to reveal the vile temptresses they are! Temptresses that want you dead!! Your muscles are needed again! Save the day! With your muscles!

Yes, if you can remember these simple guides for life then you too can be a happy and productive member of society.

And one day you may even have that most desired of things. A happily ever after with your wife.

And your mistress.